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Sexplain It: If I'm Direct, Then Why Do I Keep Hooking Up With Dudes?

I'm Zachary Zane, a sex writer, author, and ethical Boyslut (a like way of saying I sleep with a lot of people, and I'm very, very open about it). Over the years, I've had my just share of sexual experiences, dating and sleeping with hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. In doing so, I've learned a thing or two about navigating issues in the bedroom (and a bunch of other places, TBH). I'm here to answer your most pressing sex questions with thorough, actionable advice that isn't just "communicate with your partner" because you know that already. Inquire me anything—literally, anything—and I will gladly Sexplain It.

To submit a question for a future column, stuff out this form.

Dear Sexplain It,

I'm in my mid-twenties and identity as a heterosexual man. A year or two endorse, I accidentally watched queer porn and have frequently turned to it (together with straight porn). I never liked men per se, but I kept watching it nonetheless. I moved to a recent city last year and, by some quirk, decided to hook up with a man. I've hooked up with seven men so far, and except for three

Sexual orientation versus behavior—different for men and women?
Photo by Dr. Les from Flickr CC / https://flic.kr/p/79QPnN
Sexuality and inequality research
by Eliza Brown and Paula England | February 29, 2016
If you know which sexual orientation people recognize with, how much does that reveal you about whether they have sex with women, men, or both? How similar or other are the links between identity and behavior for women and men? Building on our publish from last June, “Women’s sexual orientation and sexual behavior: How well act they match?” we update the examination of women to include more recent data and include an analysis of data on men.
We’re using data from the 2002, 2006-2010, and 2011-2013 National Survey of Family Growth for men and women 15 to 44 years of age. Detailed tables, along with how we generated our measures, are in the Appendix at the end of this post. Here we focus on a few specific questions:
How common is it for heterosexual men and women to have sex with same-sex sexual partners?
Unsurprisingly, almost none of the men identifying as heterosexual have had only male sexual partners and only 2% say they have had even one male sexual partner (Table 1

Legal Age for Sex in Singapore and Common Sexual Offences
The legal age to have sex in Singapore is 16 years old. This means that it is a punishable offence to have sex (whether vaginal, oral or anal) with persons below 16 years old, as stated in section 376A of the Singapore Penal Code.
The genders of the parties does not matter. It also does not matter whether the minor had consented to having sex.
The penalties for a person found guilty of having underage sex depends on the age of the minor:
If the minor was between 14 years antique and 16 years old, the offender can be jailed up to 20 years, and either fined or caned, if the offender was in an exploitative relationship with the minor. (See below for what it means to be in an exploitative relationship.) If the parties were not in such a relationship, the offender can be fined and/or jailed for up to 10 years.
If the trivial was under 14 years old, the offender can be jailed for up to 20 years, and either fined or caned. If the parties were of the opposite sex and the girl was under 14, the gentleman can be convicted of rape instead (see below).
If the minor was between 16 and 18 years old, the offender could also be charg
‘Torture porn or serious literature?’: the love-hate phenomenon of cult novel A Petite Life
On the cover of the American edition of Hanya Yanagihara’s A Little Life is a photograph by the adv Peter Hujar. It shows a handsome young guy who, with his eyes screwed shut and his head resting on his hand, looks utterly overcome with despair. Look at the small print and you see that the picture is called Orgasmic Man, one of a series Hujar made in 1969. The man isn’t crying. He’s coming.
It’s a remarkably apt image for a book which has hit the commercial motherlode by wallowing in abject misery. Since it was published in 2015, A Little Life has sold more than 1m copies and is now a bona fide cult classic. There are multiple Reddit threads devoted to it; on Pinterest, people demonstrate off their A Petty Life-inspired tattoos; and the style magazine i-D recently quoted a woman called Kristin Curtis saying that her friends would dispatch each other selfies while sobbing when they reached the novel’s conclusion. On TikTok, the search terms “A Little Life” and “A Little Life book” have 200m page views between them, although not all of the content is positive. “I would not recommend this publication to

Age verification becomes mandatory on porn sites in the UK, and gradually in France
Starting July 25, mechanisms in the United Kingdom will block minors from accessing online pornographic content. The victory for the British regulator applications a potential model for Paris and Brussels.
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The internet appears to be entering the "age verification era." This was the prediction made in June by France's media and digital communications regulator Arcom in its contribution to European guidelines on the protection of minors. It is clear that recent fronts have opened up worldwide for the pornographic industry, which has been on the frontline for several years.
The United Kingdom made headlines last month by announcing that, starting July 25, several major porn sites would deploy age verification tools in the UK, retiring the familiar and purely declarative button "I am over 18." Among these are several websites – Pornhub, RedTube, YouPorn, Tube8 and MyDirtyHobby – run by Aylo, a leading Canadian and Cypriot team in the industry. The list also includes "camshow" platforms, such as ICF Group (Streamate, LiveHDCams), Cam4 and Cypriot giant Stripchat.
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